You are currently browsing the daily archive for May 23, 2005.


Here is Lucy’s dazzling smile. And an early incarnation of the infamous braids. Posted by Hello


Here I am in full big-sister mode. Witness the washcloth in my hand, ready to clean up after messy sister. See how the honeydew is bigger than Lucy’s head?  Posted by Hello


Here you can see a cult member offering beer to young Lucy, an example of how early introduction removes the allure of alcohol. Lucy doesn’t really drink these days. Posted by Hello


My sister Lucy turned 20 yesterday. Here’s a little photo montage of our early years together. Here, you can see an early example of jessmonster’s ability to mock. Lucy is approximately one day old and wearing the rainbow covered gown given to her at the birthing center, and already I mock. Also, I display a shocking lack of modesty. Posted by Hello

Once, when I was very small and lived in Indianapolis, I went to the cult preschool. We sat at little round tables and they gave us soup for lunch and who knows what the hell we did. I don’t remember it, really. But my friend of approximately 22 years, Katy, mother of Q, loves to tell the following story:

When we were in cult preschool together, Jenny, who was older and very popular, decided to start a club. A very exclusive, special club, and us younger girls could be part of it. What an opportunity! Lucky us! To be welcomed into the fold by Jenny! The condition of being a club member was this: you didn’t butter your bread to the edges. When they gave us slices of lovingly homemade crunchy wheat bread (or sliced whatever, I don’t remember) you couldn’t spread the butter to the edges. Doing so made you ineligible. Any sensible four year old would jump at the chance to be included in this fabulous club!

But not me. With my dazzling four year old mind, I knew it was more important to eat by bread the way I damn well pleased, with butter in the furthermost corners, than to belong to some club.

The way Katy tells it, she went along with the conditions. She wanted to belong. But when she saw my resistance, when she saw me stand up to the powers of girlish belonging, she respected me.

When I became Q’s godmother, Katy joked that I was chosen because I buttered by bread to the edges. Because I refused to conform.

-jessmonster, who butters her bread to the edges

May 2005
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