How could I have forgotten to write about this yesterday?

It is Saturday night. There’s a big table of us at an ale house, having farewell drinks & dinner with a coworker who is leaving us (sob) to go across town where my mom happens to work. The ale house is crowded, there are other big tables with families and birthday parties, the place is loud, the waitresses are running around and charging us for the wrong things. We’re talking, we’re laughing, some of us are talking about work, some of us are doing everything we can to avoid talking about work, some of us are playing pool.

Towards the end of the evening, after part of the group has left and we’re working on divvying up the tab, a wizened little old woman approaches the table and looks right at Brooke, the now dearly departed. “It’s been a pleasure listening to you,” she says in a hard voice that indicates the opposite of pleasure. Brooke gapes at her, and I’m sure I gaped at her, wondering, “what will she say next?”

“Next time, stay home!”

We all came up with a lot of good comebacks later, but we were all too stunned as she turned her heel and walked out the door. I’m pretty sure I gave her one of the signature jessmonster stares, but for once it didn’t seem like enough of a gesture.

Oh little old woman with your heart of stone! Leave us be!

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